80 Short Christmas Jokes for Texting: Send a Smile This Holiday 2024

Feeling down during the holiday season is a common experience—you are not alone. The shorter and darker winter days, combined with holiday stress and high expectations, can be overwhelming. However, research has shown that Christmas can bring joy and light into our lives. A study conducted by researchers in Denmark in 2015 found that Christmas imagery activated regions in the brain associated with happiness. This is to say that Christmas can indeed lift our spirits. And what’s one of the best ways to spread this holiday cheer? A good laugh! Here, we’ve compiled a list of short Christmas jokes perfect for texting. These jokes will put a smile on anyone’s face and bring a bit of holiday magic.

Santa Jokes to Sleigh You

1. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho.
2. How does Santa take care of his hands during the holidays? He uses Santatizer.
3. Why is Santa afraid of chimneys? He has Claus-trophobia.
4. What would happen if Santa lost his sleigh? He’d get another one, on the house!
5. Why don’t you see Santa in hospitals? Because he has private elf care.
6. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.
7. Which nationality does Santa belong to? North Polish.
8. How can you prove that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
9. What happened when Santa’s sleigh broke down? He turned into a Santa pause.
10. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

Jokes about Christmas Traditions

1. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis.
2. Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital? Because he has private elf care.
3. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
4. How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y.
5. What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pine-apple.
6. Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
7. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumb-y.
8. How do sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
9. Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.
10. How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.

Jolly Jokes About Beloved Christmas Stories

1. How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
2. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who.
3. How did Mary and Joseph know the weight of baby Jesus? They had a weigh in a manger.
4. Which playwright was terrified of Christmas? Noël Coward.
5. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen at the auction? They were two deer.
6. What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread? Loaf, Actually.
7. What did the third wise man say after his friends had presented gold and frankincense? “But wait, there’s myrrh!”
8. Why does Scrooge love reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him.
9. What do you call an Elf who just won the lottery? Welfy.
10. Why did Scrooge refuse to eat at the Italian restaurant? It costs a pretty penne.

Frosty Jokes: Snowmen Humor to Warm Your Heart

1. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
2. What do you call a snowman vacationing in the tropics? A puddle.
3. Why was the snowman looking for carrots? He was picking his nose.
4. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies.
5. How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.
6. What’s a snowman with a six-pack called? An abdominal snowman.
7. Why did the snowgirl break up with the snowboy? She gave him the cold shoulder.
8. Why did the snowman want a divorce? Because his wife was a total flake.
9. Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
10. What’s it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.

Miscellaneous Christmas Jokes

1. How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work, and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
2. Why does Drake love giving gifts? He’s really good at wrapping!
3. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
4. What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? Fleece Navidad.
5. What’s the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum—you just can’t beat it.
6. How do you say Merry Christmas in Spanish? Fleece Navidad.
7. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
8. What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs? Michael Googlé.
9. What’s it called when you buy a piano this holiday? Christmas Chopin.
10. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

Cute Riddles for the Christmas Season

1. What do snowmen do when they’re not feeling well? Have a meltdown.
2. What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder.
3. Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas? Because they enjoy wrapping.
4. How do sheep say Merry Christmas to each other? Fleece Navidad.
5. What does Frosty get when he’s upset? Frostbite.
6. Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
7. What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
8. Why did Santa go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf.
9. Who helps Santa when he’s stuck in bad weather? His reindeer—they’re always ready for sleighing help!
10. What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.

Christmas Tree Jokes

1. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?”
2. Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting? It always dropped its needles.
3. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
4. What did the Christmas tree do after it bank closed? It started its own branch.
5. How many Christmas trees can you plant in the ground? All of them.
6. What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber.
7. What do Christmas trees wear at the pool? Trunks.
8. Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
9. What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle.
10. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping.

Candy Cane Jokes for a Sweet Laugh

1. Why did the candy cane throw a tantrum? It just couldn’t handle the stick-y situation.
2. Why do gingerbread men use candy canes? Because they are sweet on it.
3. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-itis.
4. How do you hang a candy cane on the tree? With frost-ing.
5. What’s a candy cane’s favorite type of music? Sweet jazz.
6. Why does a candy cane never get lost? Because it always sticks to the point.
7. Why did the candy cane go to school? To learn how to sweeten its knowledge.
8. What do you call a candy cane who tells jokes? A sugar comedian.
9. Why do candy canes hate winter? Because they prefer to melt in summer.
10. What’s a candy cane’s favorite treat? Minty fresh ice cream.

We hope these jokes bring a bit of jolly to your holiday season – share them with family, friends, or even a stranger to make their day a little brighter. Happy holidays and keep spreading the cheer with these fun and festive Christmas jokes!